Mental Illness Awareness Week

October 7-13 is National Mental Illness Awareness Week. It was created in 1990 by an act of Congress to raise awareness that mental illness is real, not just "an excuse for people who are too weak to take responsibility for their own problems", or any of the other countless dismissals we've all heard.

1 in 4 adults will experience some kind of mental health disorder in any given year. These can range from a single episode of depression to chronic conditions that can require medication and/or hospitalization.

The fact is, you know somebody with a mental illness. I know you do. Because if you read this blog, you likely know me, and I have a mental illness. I have dealt with chronic depression and anxiety my entire life, but I didn't acknowledge it or deal with it in a serious way until after I graduated college.

My hesitancy to do anything about a problem that I knew in the back of my mind that I had for a very long time came from a lack of awareness. I had been told that I could simply decide to get over my feelings and that psychiatric medication was something that doctors peddled to make money.

I'm a pretty stubborn and determined person. If I make up my mind to do something, I'm going to do it. For a long time I honestly believed that there was some kind of flaw in my character that prevented me from being able to "just get over it" and be a normal, happy person like everyone else seemed to be.

I only had the strength to seek help because of friends who gave me permission to admit that I couldn't deal with this on my own and assured me that it was not a sign of weakness.

I share this because I hope that, in some small way, I can fight back against the stigma that surrounds mental illness in our society. Some people view you with a suspicion if you have a mental illness in a way they would not if you have cancer, both of which are medical conditions completely outside of your control. Insurance companies do not cover mental health medications in the same way they do prescriptions for other chronic conditions.

You can be discriminated against when applying for a job if you disclose that you have a mental illness. If you had type 1 diabetes and were denied a job because of it, you would file a massive lawsuit. Even though mental illness is just as real and treatable as diabetes, it is treated differently. We have a long way to go as a society.

If you think that you or someone you know might be suffering from a mental illness, go to the National Alliance for Mental Illness' (NAMI) website. There is lots of great information and resources to help you decide how to proceed.

Please, please don't be afraid to ask for help. It's OK to admit you can't handle this on your own. I took that hard first step, and my life is immeasurably better for it. Yours will be, too.

Mentoring Matters- part of the MinistryMatters.com "Ministers Matter" blog tour

Note- this piece was originally a chapter in Beyond the Burning Bush: Hearing and Answering God's Call, which was published by the General Board of Higher Education and Ministry of the United Methodist Church in 2009. I am reposting it here as part of MinistryMatters.com's "Ministers Matter" blog tour. The minster who matters in this piece is Will Penner, who is still a dear friend, colleague, a mentor fourteen years after the events I describe in this post.

“You’re not going to any church right now? Cool! You’re our newest member!”

I had known Will for all of ten minutes and he was already recruiting me to be part of his youth group. I didn’t protest. After spending ten minutes with this youth group and their youth director I knew there was something there I wanted to be a part of. Those ten minutes helped set the course for the next ten years of my life.

It was true. I hadn’t been going to any church for a while. I had drifted away from the church in which I had grown up near the end of my junior year in high school for a variety of reasons, but it basically came down to the fact that I didn’t feel at home there any more. So for a couple months I floated around not really knowing what to do. Sundays were especially depressing because church had been such a big part of my life ever since I had dedicated my life to serving God on a mission trip at thirteen. I wasn’t sure where God was leading me next, only that it was somewhere different from what I’d known before. So when a friend invited me to her church’s party after our school’s football game, I decided to go for the heck of it, and within ten minutes I discovered that this was where God wanted me to be.

After a few weeks as part of this new youth group, Will surprised me again. I was hanging out with him after youth one Sunday evening practicing some new worship songs on the guitar when he started asking me what I planned on doing with my future. I said I wasn’t really sure, so Will decided that since I was a senior, I would become his assistant and learn how to be a youth pastor. So for the rest of my senior year, I watched and learned as Will explained how he planned weekly youth meetings, led Bible studies, visited school campuses, and interacted with the Senior Pastor and other staff. I even filled in for him in his other role as Choir Director when he was absent one Sunday, despite having zero experience at conducting. I figured that this experience would help prepare me for a possible church job later on in life. What I didn’t know was that “later on” would be a few months down the road.

The summer after graduation I was working at a church camp when a church group from Indianapolis, where I would begin college in the fall, ended the camp week by offering me a job. I had grown close to the youth and adults from this church during the week, and since they were looking for a new youth director, they decided to offer me the job even though neither their pastor nor a single member of their Staff-Parish Committee was in camp that week. The fact that I was eighteen years old, straight out of high school, barely older than some of the kids, and had zero experience didn’t seem to matter (although my innumerable rookie mistakes may have made them question their choice later on).

The first thing I did as soon as I got home was to make a frantic phone call to Will. “What do I do?” I asked, freaking out about taking on an actual “adult” role. Will gave me a sideways puzzled look as if he couldn’t comprehend why I was so worried. “You’ve spent the past year watching what I do and practicing it yourself. You know what to do.”

Will was right, at least in part. I knew how to run a decent youth group meeting. I could plan and lead a Bible study. I could rehearse a praise band and organize mission trips and fundraisers. But at the same time, I didn’t know how to “be” a pastor to youth and their families. I didn’t know what to do when I got a frantic phone call or e-mail from a teenager in crisis. I knew how to do the nuts and bolts of ministry, but the more intangible aspects were a mystery to me.

Thankfully Will was there for me then, too. During my first year in youth ministry I probably called him at least once a week grilling him with questions on everything from how to deal with an agitated parent to how to delicately address girls being dressed inappropriately for church. What I began to learn is that while you can learn the basic functions of ministry by watching someone else do them and practicing a bit, the more intangible parts, the “being” of ministry, if you will, is a lot more complicated. You don’t learn how to handle most situations until you’re in them, so you figure it out as you go. If you handle them well, you figure out why and make sure to repeat those actions in the future. If you mess up (which you will more often than not), you process, regroup, learn from your mistakes, apologize if need be, and do better the next time.

I could have learned all about the “doing” of ministry from a book or a training seminar. There is no shortage of good ones out there. The “doing” is relatively easy. But I never could have learned about the “being” of ministry without a mentor who was willing to take me under his wing, allowing me to watch and learn from what he did, and having the patience and grace to endure my endless questioning and self doubt once I was out on my own. This mentoring relationship has given me valuable insights that the best book or class never could.

In the ten years since I walked into that youth group party, my life has changed dramatically. I have graduated from college and seminary. My own understanding of calling has led me to go from being a youth pastor, to an associate pastor, and eventually to pastoring my own congregation. Will is still active in youth ministry, and I still talk with him often and seek his advice. I’ve met and learned from other mentors along the way. But none of this would have happened had I not met a mentor who helped me begin discerning my calling by seeing potential in me that I didn’t see in myself.

Shameless Self Promotion- "Some People" Edition

I published a new piece on Ministry Matters today about dealing with unattributed comments or concerns that pastors receive second hand. I invented a character called Pastor Smith and put her in a situation that most pastors encounter at some point.

I've certainly had this conversation (not lately, thankfully!), and I've heard enough stories from other clergy all across the spectrum to believe that this experience is fairly universal, so I hope the thoughts I share are helpful.

Read "When 'Some People' Complain" and let me know what you think. Comments are always appreciated!

Romney and Obama on Poverty

I'm a bit late to the party on this one, but I finally watched the videos that President Obama and Governor Romney made addressing questions from the Circle of Protection on what they are/will be doing to help the poorest citizens of the United States.






I'll confess that I decided who I'm voting for a while back, and so I do watch these videos through something of a biased lens.

That being said, I wasn't terribly impressed with either of the candidates' responses. There was little more than the talking points of their respective campaigns, with a little more faith lingo and less attacking built in.

I can understand why both these men would choose to give such bland responses. They're in the midst of a very close race, and both are by nature cautious and eager to avoid any missteps that could be used against them.

The sad reality is that poverty is not an issue that gets a whole lot of traction in our political discourse. Even in a time when more and more people in our country are finding themselves in poverty, the issue does little to "move the needle" in opinion polls other than when it is used as a talking point about deficit reduction.

While I believe that government does have a role to play in alleviating poverty, since government is one avenue for us to express our values and commitments as a society, the church, nonprofit, and individuals also have an important role to play, because those avenues facilitate relationship building and not just the allocation of resources.

I won't be holding my breath for these or any presidential candidates in the near future to have much of substance to say on poverty, but I am glad that groups like Sojourners and Circle of Protection keep our elected officials feet "to the fire". Perhaps our collective efforts will one day truly sink in and meaningful, effective policy reform will happen.

Playing in "The Cooper"

Next week I'll be playing in the Mary Cooper Golf Challenge to raise money for Miriam's Promise.

I've barely picked up my golf clubs in the last year, and even before that my game wasn't too great, so my inevitable embarrassment on the course will be offset if I can raise over $1,000 to support this great ministry.

Take a moment to click on the link below, learn about Miriam's Promise, and if you feel so led, make a contribution. Thanks!

Personal Fundraising Page for Matthew L. Kelley

9/11, 11 Years Later

There are, of course, no shortage of words on the anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks, and I don't know how much of value I can add to the discourse, but I'll give it a shot by sharing two things.

One is a photo that's making the rounds on Facebook today. Pictures are, indeed, worth 1,000 words, and this painting challenges us with the radical love of Jesus on this day where remembrance and memories of grief might otherwise turn our thoughts to revenge.

The other is the sermon I preached last year on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. This also happened to be the sermon I videotaped  for my final ordination interviews. I made it through, so obviously it wasn't too bad.

Podcast Catch-up

After several weeks of slacking, we're finally caught up on the Arlington UMC Podcast, which is hosted for us by the good folks at sermon.net.

One recent sermon is about God's call for us to care for ourselves by honoring our need for sabbath rest. It's called "Come and Rest Awhile"



You can listen to all episodes on Arlington's website, on our sermon.net page, or subscribe on iTunes.

As always, comments are greatly appreciated.

Embarrassing Christians

When I see stories in the news about a pastor or televangelist proclaiming that God sent a hurricane or earthquake to punish someone on their personal enemies list, or when whether one buys a chicken sandwich becomes the supreme statement of faith for a few days, I roll my eyes and wonder if I even practice the same religion as these people.

So when I saw this image today, I had a moment of satisfaction at the thought that Jesus gets as aggravated as I do with other Christians.

But just as quickly, I was reminded (I think it's the Holy Spirit smacking me upside the head) that when I have such moments of self-satisfaction and smug superiority, I'm doing the exact same thing that annoys me when I see other people doing it. I may not be claiming that God is sending a hurricane to punish groups I don't like, but in my heart I'm saying "raca" to my brother, and that's as bad in God's eyes as murdering them.

So if I'm going to think that this is how Jesus reacts to some of my fellow Christians, I have to be open the the possibility that Jesus also gets frustrated with me in my own moments of smug superiority. I make Jesus roll his eyes as much as anyone else. Probably more so, since preachers tend to be the "chiefs of sinners".

The good news, however, is that God seems to be able to use me even with my many, many flaws. So the things that drive me crazy about other people must be a bigger problem for me than they are for God. God works through all of us, and the more willing I am to see that in the people I don't particularly like, the more I get to experience just how amazing grace really is.

I guess that means I have to get off my own pedastal. Darn it...

Hurt People Hurt People

Thought for the day, courtesy of Thich Nhat Hanh

When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That's the message he is sending.

Thanks to the Emergent Village daily email blast for the quote.

Comparing Denominational Gatherings

Taylor Burton Edwards posted a really interesting piece over on emergingUMC contrasting the Episcopal Church's recently wrapped-up General Convention with the United Methodist Church's most recent General Conference. He has a unique perspective because his wife is an Episcopal priest and was a deputy (delegate) to the Convention, while as an employee of the General Board of Discipleship, he was deeply involved in General Conference.

I know the Presbyterian Church (USA) just had their General Assembly, and the tidbits I've heard seem like the tone was as negative as at our General Conference, and I know the Disciples of Christ will have their General Assembly next year, and I hear that their gatherings tend to have a generally positive tone.

I do wonder what it is that makes big denominational gatherings that are each dealing with similar issues such as structure, budget, and human sexuality, take such radically different tones. As Taylor points out in his piece, there were a number of factors over the last four years that fed into the contrasting demeanors of the Episcopal and United Methodist gatherings.

But I also wonder if there might be a more general issue of a sense of denominational identity that plays into the tone of these gatherings? Do the Disciples and Episcopalians get along better because knowing who they are creates a more collegial atmosphere? (Yes, I know the Episcopalians have been at war over sexuality and that many of the more conservative lay and clergy have split off, and will likely continue to do so after the GC)

I'm still sitting on some ideas that I think might make future UMC General Conferences easier, but I'm probably going to wait until after this week's Jurisdictional Conferences are over to share them. This time next week we'll all know who our Bishops will be for the next four years!

The Higgs Boson Parable

On Sunday I preached a sermon about parables, expanding the idea beyond just the stories that Jesus told and saying that the Bible, and really all of life, are parables in that they point to a reality that is much greater than themselves. They're things that assist us in trying to wrap our minds around a Truth that is greater than anything we can possibly comprehend.

You can listen to the message here



An illustration I wanted to use, but had to cut for time and to keep the message from dragging was about the recent discovery of the until-now-theoretical Higgs-boson particle.

I don't pretend to understand physics on any level, so forgive me if any of the implications I draw here are in any way incorrect.

The particle in question was suggested to exist in 1964. The hard evidence of its existence seems to have come now, in 2012. That's 48 years between theory and proof.

Jesus talked about the coming reign of God, or baselia tou Theou, but the full realization thereof has not yet come to be. This is 2000ish years of history bet on this theory. Kind of a big gamble.

So Jesus is either wrong, crazy, or some sort of semi-dangerous guy who is more than deserving of public humiliation and execution on a Roman cross (a standard that was quite liberally applied)...

or what he was talking about was a "theory" awaiting "proof".

I use those terms loosely, because Truth and fact are two distinct, if interrelated, things. Indiana Jones says so, after all.

The inadequacies of the analogy aside, the physicists who thought the theory of the Higgs-boson to be of merit invested the time, energy, and finances to build the Large Hadron Collider to achieve proof of the particle's existence.

Likewise, the church has thought Jesus' assertion of the coming reign of God to be of such merit as to invest substantial time, energy, and finances to live out said reality in microcosm in anticipation of its full realization in the entire cosmos.

Yes, the church universal has also spent a lot of time and energy engaged in less-than-worthy pursuits, too. Granted. But...

Those that believed the Higgs-boson existed kept at it until its existence was proven. Those who believe in the reality of the baselia tou Thou keep at it until its truth is not proven by empirical evidence in the way science is able to provide, but the full indwelling of said Truth where the rules that we always thought applied are shown to be false, and the rules of the Kingdom of God are shown to be the ultimate Truth.

This is what Jesus is suggesting in the parable of the farmer sowing seeds. He does is part, but he "knows not how" the ultimate result comes to be. The harvest he reaps is the product of his effort combined with elements and forces far beyond his control.

This discovery of the existence of the Higgs-boson particle does not somehow empower its effect on particle physics. Likewise, the full realization of the reign of God does not somehow empower its effect on the cosmos. It's been there the whole time, we just finally came to realize it.

Sub-atomic particle or meta-Truth, it's not-yet-really-yet-kinda-sorta the same.

May we all stand in awe of that which we are learning and that which we can't possibly comprehend.

The Desert of Compassion

Here's a word I needed today:

What is my new desert? The name of it is compassion. There is no wilderness so terrible, so beautiful, so arid and so fruitful as the wilderness of compassion. It is the only desert that shall truly flourish like the lilly. It shall become a pool, it shall bud forth and blossom and rejoice with joy. It is the desert of compassion that the thirsty land turns into springs of water, that the poor possess all things. There are no bounds to contain the inhabitants of this solitude in which I live alone, as isolated as the Host on the altar, the food of all men, belonging to all and belonging to none, for God is with me, and He sits in the ruins of my heart, preaching His Gospel to the poor.
~Thomas Merton, Nov. 29, 1951
from Merton's journals, vol 2- "Entering the Silence", p. 463


Merton wrote this six months in to his tenure as Master of Scholastics (supervising the education and spiritual formation of new monks), reflecting on how hard it was for him to be responsible for so many people and how he knows he frequently messes up.

I am a year into being the pastor of a church with a staff and a daycare center. This is a new role for me and I'm getting used to being responsible for so many people in the dual role of their supervisor and their pastor. I feel pretty good about how it's gone overall, but I know I've made mistakes and I will continue to, since I'm human.

The only way for me to have any kind of success in this role is to spend lots of time in the desert of compassion, letting it empty me of myself and filling me up with grace that is far beyond my ability to conjure up on my own.

So thanks for this word today, Father Merton. I needed it.

Shameless Self Promotion- Mission Trip Edition

My latest article, "Mission Trip High: Keeping it Going or Leaving it There" is up on Ministry Matters.

In it, I question the idea of "bringing it home" from a mission trip or conference experience and argue that pastors and youth leaders need to adjust the expectations we put on youth for when they come back  from these experiences.

Feel free to post comments on the article page itself or here on the blog.

Crackhouse Church?

Pete Rollins, as he often does, delivers a simultaneously scathing and inviting critique of church. I have an article that will be on Ministry Matters later this week making a similar critique of  or orientation toward mission trips and conferences.


Crack House Church from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.

Agree? Disagree? Share your thoughts.

The Most Interesting Pastor in the World

Lately I've been noticing more and more gray hair on my head and in my beard, and the rate at which they appear seems to be increasing.

On the one hand, this is encouraging, because receding hairlines run in my family. On the other, I'm only 31!

It occurred to me today that, if the current rate of exponential grayness continues, I will look less like Ricky Gervais

And more like "The Most Interesting Man in the World" from the Dos Equis commercials

(here is a current photo for comparison's sake)

So sooner or later I may make a video or two where I play "The Most Interesting Pastor in the World"

I posted this on my Facebook page earlier, and several friends have already suggested several attributes or quotes (Google it if you're not familiar with the commercials). Here are some of the better ones:

"I don't always serve communion, but when I do, I prefer Welch's"

"I don't always use online commentary, but when I do, I prefer Ministry Matters. Keep exegeting my friends."

He's so Wesleyan, he makes John Wesley look like John Calvin.

Mosquitos will not bite him during camp meetings out of sheer respect.

He wrote another 30 verses of "O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing"

The ushers come forward at his altar calls

He once preached by staring at the congregation with his piercing blue eyes

Let's see how creative the blogosphere is. Best "Interesting Pastor" line gets a shout out on this blog and the respect of your peers.

The UMC Speaks on Health Care

I have to admit I was quite surprised yesterday when I saw that the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Care Act (what some call "Obamacare") in its entirety. During my lifetime, many of the landmark decisions handed down by our nation's highest court have appeared extremely partisan, with justices voting the position of the political party of the President who appointed them.

I don't really want to engage in the wars of words that are currently going on surrounding the decision. I'm not a legal scholar nor an expert in health policy, so were I to engage in the arguments for the side I find myself on, the best I could do would be to give slightly more thoughtful versions of the sound-bytes being thrown around, but I wouldn't have much of substance to contribute to the discussion.

Instead, I'd simply like to share the official stance of my church on the right to health care. This comes from paragraph 162 of the Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church, where the social principles of our denomination are detailed.

Health is a condition of physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being, and we view it as a responsibility—public and private. Health care is a basic human right. Psalm 146 speaks of the God “who executes justice for the oppressed;/ who gives food to the hungry./ The LORD sets the prisoners free;/ the LORD opens the eyes of the blind.” The right to health care includes care for persons with brain diseases, neurological conditions or physical disabilities, who must be afforded the same access to health care as all other persons in our communities. It is unjust to construct or perpetuate barriers to physical or mental wholeness or full participation in community. We encourage individuals to pursue a healthy lifestyle and affirm the importance of preventive health care, health education, environmental and occupational safety, good nutrition, and secure affordable housing in achieving health. We also recognize the role of governments in ensuring that each individual has access to those elements necessary to good health. Countries facing a public health crisis such as HIV/AIDS must have access to generic medicines and to patented medicines without infringing on a pharmaceutical company's patent/licensing rights. We affirm the right of men and women to have access to comprehensive reproductive health/family planning information and services which will serve as a means to prevent unplanned pregnancies, reduce abortions and prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS.
(emphasis mine)

You don't have to agree with the social principles to be part of the United Methodist Church, so if you happen to disagree with our official stance or the opinion of your preacher, don't leave your church. I have some strong disagreements with other parts of our discipline, but I'm not surrendering my credentials over them.

Agree? Great. Disagree? Great. Let's take some time to talk about why. Let's put away the sound-bytes for a few minutes and try to see the good in those with whom we disagree. We just might learn something, and we might even be transformed, ourselves, regardless of whether we end up agreeing.

Context, Context, Context

Yesterday at Arlington, we explored the last "episode" in the great narrative arc of the Bible by exploring the Book of Revelation in its historical context and pondering what it has to say to us as we are living out our own chapter in the great story of God and humanity.

You can listen to all nine episodes of the "Living the Story" series on our website, at our Sermon.net channel, or subscribe on iTunes. Below is audio of Sunday's message.



One of the main points we emphasized is that all the books of the Bible were written to people in a specific time and place, so that the original audience could understand what the author was trying to say. If we approach scripture with no knowledge of who the first hearers (not readers, per say, as these were largely pre-literate societies) were, we won't have a clue what the author is trying to say and we'll end up reading some things that were never meant to be taken from the text.

Of course, God can and often does speak through these texts in fresh ways- that's why we call the Bible the "living Word of God" after all- but very often reading an ancient text with no historical and cultural context does more harm than good.

I listened to a sermon today that illustrates this point beautifully. My colleague, Pastor Ed Zeiders of St. Paul's UMC in State College, PA, preached an amazingly pastoral and prophetic message yesterday, in the wake of recent events in their community.

Jerry Sandusky, a former football coach at Penn State and a member of St. Paul's, had been convinced just days before on a long list of charges relating to the intentional and systematic sexual abuse of young boys over many years. This situation has profoundly affected their church and their community, as well as getting the attention of the rest of the world.

The thing is, though, if we didn't know anything about what had happened with Mr. Sandusky and the Penn State football program, this sermon wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to us. Living in the same time as these events makes it easy to know what he's talking about, but people a century or a millennium for now might not know what we know. The absence of this knowledge would put them at a serious disadvantage, and their conclusions might be helpful, or the might very likely do more harm than good.

Take the time to listen to Pastor Ed's message, and bear in mind how you would be hearing this differently if you didn't know what was on everyone's mind that Sunday.



Knowing the context in which this sermon was preached is crucial to understanding what the pastor is trying to say. The same is true for all of us when we approach Holy Scripture. Let's have enough respect for the Bible to do a little homework and find out who these texts were written to. Let's take the time to see what was being proclaimed about God to the original audience, because that helps put us in a place where we are ready to hear what God wants to say to us through this text today.

Shameless Spouse Promotion

Jessica preached at church yesterday, both as a Fathers' Day present to me and, providentially, because I ended up having a very busy week and wouldn't have had time to properly put a sermon together.

Her message was titled "Stewards of Our Children", and she considers parenting in light of the story of Abraham's near sacrifice of Isaac in Genesis 22 and Jesus' parable of the talents in Matthew 25.

I'm biased, of course, but I think she preached an amazing message, and I continue to be amazed and grateful that this wonderful woman wants to be married to me!

Reflections on the Eve of Ordination

On Monday night I will be ordained as an Elder in Full Connection in the Tennessee Conference of the United Methodist Church.

And now I'm seriously considering the idea that I might be the pastor of a church for my whole career.

I know that sounds like a strange thing to say, especially since the ordination process in the United Methodist Church is one of the longest and most convoluted things ever created by humankind. I began the candidacy process in 2000, while I was in college, and I've been "in ministry" (that is, drawing a paycheck from a church) since I was eighteen years old.

It's not that I never wanted to be the pastor of a church. It's just that for a number of years I thought that my own path in ministry would take a somewhat different form. Since sometime around my senior year in college, when I was writing my honors thesis and getting a taste of in depth academic research and informally TA-ing a 100 level religion class with my advisor, I thought that I wanted to get a PhD and teach in a college or seminary.

That is how I thought for a number of years that I would be of greatest service to the church, particularly since I became a preaching and liturgy nerd in seminary.

But then two things happened. One was more gradual, and the other was fairly sudden.

The gradual realization was that doing a PhD is a long, expensive, frustrating process with a very high drop-out rate and very few tenure-track positions available. And from observing the chatter around theological education, there may be some huge shifts on the horizon that might make traditional seminary professor positions even more rare.

Pursuing a PhD would also require some big sacrifices that I'm not prepared to ask my wife and daughters to make, since they already sacrifice so much to support my vocation as a pastor.

The more sudden thing was that I found myself serving a church where I could actually see myself serving for a long time.

In saying that I mean no disrespect to the congregations I have previously served. In each of these places I had meaningful experiences and learned valuable lessons, to say nothing of a whole lot about who I am. It's just that I've never been in a place where I could see myself serving in that capacity for a long time.

But now I'm at Arlington- the place where my journey of faith began with my parents making promises on my behalf at my baptism- promises which they kept in every way. I've only been there a year, and there are lots of challenges, but there is a great chemistry with this congregation that makes me believe that this could be a place where my own gifts and graces can effectively serve the church, and, more importantly, the Kingdom of God.

For most of my life I've always been oriented towards the next thing. Graduating from high school, then college, getting married, graduating from seminary, having my own church, starting a family, and now getting ordained . That mindset made me think that I'd continue on for another degree, position, or whatever, but what if I have to shift my thinking and actually invest myself in where I am right now?

So, for probably the first time in my life, I'm OK with not knowing what the "next step" is. And it feels strangely good.

If you're in the Nashville area, I'd love for you to attend the ordination service at Annual Conference.

General Conference- Reflections in the Immediate Aftermath

Well that was... interesting...

No, I mean it. I was engaged in General Conference in a way that I never have been before. I watched a lot of the plenaries and worships on the live feed, often in a Google+ hangout with a few folks I knew before, and a few friends that I have now gotten to know.

It's very hard to recap all that's gone on in the last two weeks, and if you're reading this post at all, you're probably plugged in and know what all has happened. If not, let me recommend a couple good sources: Katie Z. Dawson, a reserve clergy delegate from Iowa; Melissa Meyers, a reserve clergy delegate from Illinois; GC2012 Conversations; Jay Voorhees over at Methoblog, and, of course, Ministry Matters.

I posted at the beginning of General Conference about what I hoped would happen. And, of course, it's a mixed bag.

The changes to guaranteed appointments for Elders are not quite what I'd hoped. No changes were made in the appointment system itself, but there are some good checks and balances on the Bishops' power, so I'm hopeful that this will help deal with ineffective clergy (the reason for this discussion) while offering protections to those who take the risk of offering themselves up for itinerant ministry.

I am disappointed, but not all together surprised, that we can't even officially acknowledge that we are not of one mind on sexual orientation. The fight for equality and full inclusion goes on.

The restructuring debates were the most interesting thing. No plan, even the heavily amended ones, made it out of committee. But there were enough votes to get "dead" legislation brought up in plenary, with a hybrid called "Plan UMC" passing, but then getting ruled unconstitutional by the Judicial Council. The boards and agencies voluntarily reduced their respective numbers of members somewhat, but that's about it. Check out some of the above sources for more details, and expect this conversation to continue.

After all of this, the biggest question on my mind is what it means for us to be a global connection, and if there aren't some ways we could alter what that looks like to maintain our connection and shared ministry, while taking some of the pressure off. I'm going to chew on this for a day or two, and then post some ideas I've got.

Even though many are feeling hurt and disappointed in the aftermath of this General Conference, let us all pray a prayer of thanks for the bishops, delegates, and staff who worked very hard under very tough conditions to do this work on our behalf. We may not agree with everything (or, for that matter, anything) they decided on, but they were willing to put in the time and effort to do the work. And for that, they deserve our gratitude.