Unfinished Business?

As I have less than a month to go before my last Sunday with Bethlehem, I've been reflecting back on the last four years, what I've learned, what I've done well, the many things I've done wrong, etc. I've especially thought a lot about the previous two years and everything that has happened since the fire.

One of the questions I've gotten from more than a few people is why I'm leaving now. Specifically, they wonder why I "don't want to see it (the building project) through" or if I'm leaving things "unfinished".

Honestly, I asked those questions for several months as the sense that I needed to move on began to grow. Would walking away now make two years worth of hard work all be for nothing? Would moving on now be saying that I couldn't handle a difficult situation? What would this mean for my legacy at Bethlehem?

Pondering these questions made me realize that my main motivation for staying would be for the sake of my own ego, for the opportunity to be the guy standing front and center on the day we dedicate the new building. One member of my congregation told me that I "deserve to preach the first sermon in the new sanctuary". Whether that's true is for other people to decide, and reasons of ego are a bad reason to do anything, especially to stay too long in a pastoral role.

I blogged about my rationale for leaving a while back, and those reasons are the final result of a lot of reflection and prayer. One of the things that has kept coming to me over and over as I've pondered my future is how Paul corrects the people in the church at Corinth (1 Corinthians 3) when they're arguing about who they "belong to" and use that to argue that one person is better than another. Paul reminds them that he, Apollos, and any other person are just laborers, that God is the one who makes everything happens, and that only God is worthy of the glory afforded by saying someone "belongs to" them.

I came to realize (with the help of some wise friends) that my desire to be front and center the day we dedicate the new building, to have my name on the plaque saying who built the building, was a desire for the glory and credit that belong to God and not to me or anyone else. I also came to realize that the day the congregation dedicates the new building will not be the day they arrive at some perfect status. There will always be more work to do, just as there was much work done before I ever got there. Thinking that my leadership is somehow crucial is pretty darn arrogant. There is always "unfinished business" at the end of every pastorate- it's just a little more obvious in this case.

In any case, we did come to a natural point of completion. The ground-breaking on Palm Sunday symbolized the end of the fire chapter of the church's life, with all the hard work of grieving (although the grieving has not ended for some), recovering, visioning, and planning for the future. We even set up the space for the ceremony to resemble the first worship following the fire. Now that the ground is broken, the congregation can focus on nesting in the new building and what that will mean for their future, and that chapter of their lives will be overseen by a new pastor.

I look forward to witnessing the fruits of our labor together from afar, knowing that no matter what person gets the credit in the eyes of some people, it's God who has made it all happen.

Further Adventures in Shameless Self Promotion

Today an article I wrote is on the front page of the worship section of Ministry Matters.

The article is called Worship for Communities in Crisis, and it talks about how we used the first worship service after the Bethlehem UMC fire in 2009 to give voice to what our community was feeling and to help begin facilitating the grief process. The article also includes the order of worship for that Sunday in PDF form.

I pray that no other pastors and churches out there have to go through an experience like this, but unfortunately I know that it will happen, so I hope what I've shared is somehow useful to them, or just interesting for those who plan and lead worship.

Breaking Ground

AOn Palm Sunday afternoon we broke ground on the new building for Bethlehem United Methodist Church. We had over one hundred people join us for the ceremony, including several former pastors, and my successor, who will begin serving Bethlehem in July.

The Leaf Chronicle covered the event.

The groundbreaking was really special for me because it marked the end of a nearly two year process of recovery, visioning, and planning following the fire, as well as symbolically marking the end of my tenure with Bethlehem.

BUMC's choir began the service by singing "Holy Ground"

Several congregational officers and I dug the ceremonial first shovels-full of dirt with our golden shovel (a regular shovel from Lowes covered in metallic spray paint!).

I got chills as I pronounced the words from the Book of Worship's Order for the Breaking of Ground for a Church Building.

After the ceremony, we invited everyone to take the shovel and dig. Kate wanted to get in on the action, of course.

Afterward, Jessica and my mom gave me a gift they'd been planning and working on sporadically for nearly six years (it was originally intended as an engagement present). They made a stole with symbols that reflect what is really important to me in ministry.

Changes

I shared the news with my congregation this morning, so I'll share it with the blogosphere now. I'll be leaving Bethlehem United Methodist Church in June.

A few people have expressed surprise because the rebuilding isn't yet complete. It's true that the physical construction won't be complete for about another year, but the church is about to start a new chapter in it's life. The past two years have been about mourning, regrouping, visioning, and planning. The groundbreaking (which will be in a few weeks, pending an affirmative vote at next week's charge conference) will mark the end of that chapter and the beginning of the nesting chapter of their story.

After a whole lot of prayer, contemplation, and conversations with people I trust, I became convinced that the best way for the church to leave this chapter behind and start a new one was with a new pastor, and that the energy and excitement that a pastoral change brings will provide the right momentum to carry them into the new building.

I have mixed emotions about leaving, of course. There are many people I will miss, and my ego makes me want very badly to be the person at the front and center when they dedicate the new building. But rarely does any change in life come painlessly, and I have peace that this is the right thing.

One of the unique things about our United Methodist system is that we are appointed by the Bishop to our areas of ministry, and there is a period of time where appointments are "projected" where we can't really tell anyone because the appointment picture for the whole conference isn't yet complete. So I know where I've been appointed for the coming year, but I can't share that just yet! I'll announce it as soon as I'm able.

But for now there is still work to do. Next week Bethlehem will have a Charge Conference for the final vote on the building, and if the consensus that seems to be developing translates into the necessary votes, we will break ground on the new building very soon. As hard as much of this experience has been, I will look back fondly on my time as pastor of Bethlehem.

Stations of the Cross

Tonight we celebrated Good Friday by walking the Stations of the Cross. I know this is something Protestants don't often do, but we thought we'd take advantage of worshipping in a Roman Catholic space where the stations are along the walls of the sanctuary.



Over the traditional rendering of each station is an additional piece of artwork (created by the lovely and talented Jessica Kelley) representing the emotional impact of each station. We photographed them after tonight's service, and they will remain through Easter Sunday. Come see them in person if you're in the Clarksville area this weekend!

Station 1- Jesus is Condemned by Pilate


the words on the surface of the water in the bowl are a selection of the sins of humanity for which Jesus died

Station 2- Jesus is given his cross

Station 3- Jesus falls for the first time

Station 4- Jesus meets his Mother

Station 5- Simon of Cyrene carries the cross

Station 6- Veronica wipes the face of Jesus 

Tradition says that the cloth Veronica used to wipe Jesus' face retained his image, creating one of the treasures of the early church. We used this one to remind ourselves that we are all created in the image of God, and are called to serve as his representatives in the world.

Station 7- Jesus falls the second time

Station 8- Jesus meets the daughters of Jerusalem

Station 9- Jesus falls the third time

Station 10- Jesus is stripped of his garment

Station 11- Jesus is nailed to the cross

Station 12- Jesus dies on the cross

Station 13a 

In the Catholic tradition, this station recalls Jesus being removed from the cross and being mourned, usually by his mother, we made a slightly different choice, as you will see in a moment)

Station 13b- Jesus is laid in the tomb

Station 14 (wide shot)- we thought it would be cool to have this one on the altar

Station 14 (close-up)- The Empty Tomb

Our final station ends with the Resurrection, because Jesus' death is not the end of the story, and Sin, Evil, and Death do not have the last word.

Lessons thus far

I've learned a lot of things in the nearly two weeks since the church fire. Among them are the grace and resiliency of the people of Bethlehem UMC- a lesson I learn over and over again as I continue with the honor of being their pastor.

Another thing I've learned is how any comment, no matter how small, can generate a lot of buzz. For example, I tweeted the following thing yesterday (which also becomes my Facebook status): "really getting sick of all these sharks using our church's tragedy as a way to drum up business".

This phrase quickly generated a number of questions from folks who read it. So let me clarify/elaborate.

Over the past two weeks I have received dozens of phone calls and emails from businesses whose products and services may be useful to us as we begin the process of rebuilding. Some of these phone calls and emails have evidenced genuine concern, apologies for seeming opportunistic in contacting me, and offers of some kind of discount in light of our tragedy. These are not the "sharks" to whom I am referring.

The "sharks" in question are, sadly, the majority of these phone calls and emails from businesses who express half-hearted condolences for our loss, and immediately launch into a lengthy sales pitch for their products/services. Particularly unsettling are the individuals who have offered legal consultation in dealing with our insurance company. These are probably the same guys who advertise their services during "The Price Is Right" if you've been injured in an accident and can't work. My friends who've been to law school have a term for these people: ambulance chasers.

Before I sound too negative, however, let me say that most of the communication I've had from folks has been messages of support and prayer, along with offers to help with no expectation of reciprocity. The small minority whose behavior is, at best, ethically gray, does not overshadow the majority of folks who have been nothing but loving and gracious.

As to this small minority, I get that these practices may be "good business", but it's pretty poor manners.

PS- today is Kate's 6 month birthday! Check out our family blog, The Parsonage Family, for a recap of the last half year!

Moving Forward

Bethlehem UMC will be meeting at the Montgomery County Civic Hall for at least the next four weeks. All are welcome to join us for Breakfast at 8:30, Sunday School at 9, and Worship at 10.

The Civic Hall is located in Veterans Plaza on Pageant Ln., just off of Madison Street in Clarksville, TN. Here is a Google Map to the location.

View Larger Map

Media Coverage

There was a lot of media coverage of our service yesterday. Here is what is up on the web so far:

WKRN (channel 2, Nashville's ABC affiliate) did a really nice piece. It was strange to see my voice leading off the 5pm news yesterday!

Here is the link to the video on their site.

Fox 17 (anchored by my fraternity brother, John Dunn) also did a piece. Here is the link.

Our local paper, the Leaf Chronicle, also did a very nice article, along with a great photo gallery.

Thank you to all the members of the press who came out yesterday and treated the event with such respect and reverence. Your care and grace comes through in the pieces you produced.

We have an informational meeting tonight at 7pm at Sango UMC. By then I'm hoping to be able to announce our temporary worship location and some other events for the coming days.

As always, please keep our congregation in your prayers.

Funeral for a Friend

Today we held worship next to where the church building stood. I adapted part of the funeral liturgy from the Book of Worship, as well as part of the liturgy for taking leave of a building. In many ways today was a funeral for our building. The church is the people, but the building was a beloved family member.

Nearly 200 people came to worship with us today, including Dr. Ron Lowrey, our District Superintendent, and Rev. Roger Hobson, executive assistant to our Bishop.

As part of the service, we had taken bricks from one of the chimneys that had collapsed and used it to build a Wailing Wall, like the one in Jerusalem, and during our prayer time we wrote down prayers and put them in the cracks of the wall.

Our historical marker survived the fire, and will be kept as part of a memorial that will be in our new building.

We also celebrated Holy Communion in our worship. Today was a bittersweet yet beautiful time of mourning and celebration. Tomorrow we will begin the long work of rebuilding. Please keep our congregation in your prayers.

photos courtesy of the Leaf Chronicle and Jessica Kelley.

What Once was Lost

There were so many irreplaceable things we lost in the fire that I can't even begin to list them here. One small grace is that I didn't have an office in the church, so I the only things I personally lost were my vestments. They were nice, but were all replaceable. 

All of them, that is, except the pectoral cross Jessica purchased for me in England a few years ago. It was of tremendous sentimental value to me and I was heartbroken that I lost it.

Even though we technically weren't supposed to, some of us started combing through the rubble today, and I went over to the area where the closet with my vestments was. Digging around I discovered a half burned pile of cloths that I realized had been my robes and stoles, and a large hunk of plastic that had been the hangers on which they hung.

And in the middle of that hunk of melted plastic:

It turns out that the plastic formed a protective casing around the cross, so the damage to it was minimal. I will be wearing it tomorrow, stains and all, and I'll take it to a jewelry shop this week to get it cleaned up.

God works small miracles even in the midst of great tragedies. This is only one of many that are yet to come.

The latest info

I spent most of the day, today, at the church. To call it a heartbreaking experience is an understatement. Seeing our beloved church building reduced to ashes and rubble is an experience that defies description. And yet it was a day filled with strange beauty as people came together and laughed, cried, and shared memories of all the wonderful things that happened in this building over the last century.

We will be worshipping at the site at 10am on Sunday. The worship will include Holy Communion. There will also be an informational meeting at Sango UMC at 7pm on Monday evening. Dr. Ron Lowrey, our District Superintendent, and I will be there to share information and answer questions.

Here are some photos I took today:

Please keep our congregation in your prayers.

A Tragic Loss

Many of you all have already heard the news that Bethlehem UMC was struck by lightning last night and burned down. Here are the photos that the Leaf Chronicle published.

I was in Costa Rica at the time of the fire. I got on a plane as soon as I heard, and arrived back in Clarksville this evening.

Please pray for our congregation in the difficult days ahead as we figure out the next steps and move forward.

TN Conference Publicity

Below I've pasted the article from latest edition the TN Conference Review, which included an article about the Trace Adkins video filmed at Bethlehem UMC a few months ago:

Adkins, Baldwin film at Bethlehem Methodist

By Beth Liggett Cogbill and Chris Smith, reprinted from the September 10, 2008, Leaf Chronicle, Clarksville, Tennessee.

Country music star Trace Adkins and actor Stephen Baldwin created a stir in Montgomery County Tuesday filming at Bethlehem United Methodist Church on Gholson Road.

A few dozen people were at the scene, including camera crews, a crew from CMT filming the shoot and spectators from the church.

Trace Adkins and Stephen Baldwin with Bethlehem UMC pastor Matthew L. Kelley

Filming took place inside and outside the church, and at Big McAdoo Creek for a Baptism scene.

During some shots, police held up traffic on Gholson Road for a few minutes at a time.

Adkins' many hits include "Honky-Tonk Badonkadonk" and "Ladies Love Country Boys." Baldwin appeared in "The Usual Suspects" among other films and in recent years has been outspoken in Christian ministry.

The two were among 14 contestants this spring on NBC's "The Celebrity Apprentice," hosted by Donald Trump. Adkins made it to the final two.

An anecdote from Bethlehem UMC pastor Matthew Kelley:
The person who played the pastor in the video is a longtime Nashville songwriter, so the director asked me (Matt) to coach him and Mr. Baldwin on how to accurately do an immersion baptism. They told me later that I would be credited as a technical consultant for the video. The things they don't teach you in seminary!

The Great Emergence

I'm currently reading Phyllis Tickle's The Great Emergence, which, according to all the buzz, promises to be among the greatest works on the church and emerging culture. I've only made it through one section thus far, and this isn't a full review by any means, but one of Tickle's assertions in the first section really intrigues me.

Tickle claims that the church (and to a lesser extent, most major world religions) have a kind of major house cleaning every five hundred years or so. She calls these house cleanings "rummage sales", in which people rethink forms of religious expression. Old forms of expression remain, but even they rethink themselves. The most convincing example of this is the Protestant Reformation of the sixteenth century. The Roman Catholic Church continues to exist, but as a result of Luther's Reformation, the Church of Rome undertook a counter-reformation that was ultimately beneficial for them in the long run. Tickle points to the Great Schism of 1054 and the coming of the Dark Ages and the preservation work of the monastics in the sixth century as other examples of these "rummage sales" in this history of Christianity, and she contends that the current "Great Emergence" is the semi-millennial incarnation of Christianity's house cleaning.

I find this metaphor very compelling because it serves as a powerful legitimation of the emerging church movement against frequent charges of heresy. Comparisons of the emerging church  to the Protestant Reformation are not unheard of, and her analogy makes the case that God is at work in these new movements.

However, I have to wonder about the implications of following this metaphor to its full extent. Why exactly is it that these rummage sales occur every five hundred years? Is it (as Tickle seems to suggest) that the very temporary nature of the forms of cultural expression we use to communicate religious truths requires us to rethink them as language and cultural forms change? In other words, is it because we keep confusing the medium with the message (that assumes they are two separate things, which I'm not sure they are)? Given that Reformed theology (a product of the last rummage sale) still argues persuasively for God's sovereignty in all things, is there an implication that God causes these rummage sales to happen on a somewhat regular basis?

Furthermore, what does this argument about cyclical nature of rummage sales say about the ultimate future of the emerging church movement? Will it crystalize into a new orthodoxy that will eventually have to be deconstructed? Does that mean that what is going on now will ultimately fail because the focus is on continual questioning and rethinking, and innately opposed to rigid orthodoxies? 

Like I said, I haven't read the whole book yet, and Tickle may address these questions. Either way, I'm guessing that these questions I've raised would be valuable for discussion. So post a reply and tell me what you think.

"Muddy Water" exclusive premiere!

OK, not really. It premiered on CMT a few days ago, but that's beside the point. This is the country music video that was shot at my congregation in Clarksville about a month ago. Everything is on location at and around Bethlehem, including the creek where we've baptized a number of people. We're really proud of how it turned out. Thanks again to Trace Adkins and everyone involved in the production!

Here are some photos from the day of the shoot. I would have posted them earlier, but I had to promise the producers we'd wait until the video was done.

Shooting Trace performing the song by the creek.

Stephen Baldwin heading into the creek for the baptism scene amidst a congregation of extras (and the boom guy).

Stephen and the actor playing the pastor doing the baptism scene. I spent the better part of an hour coaching them on how to do a realistic looking immersion baptism, so that's my handiwork in the video!

Trace, me, and Stephen at the end of a very long day on set. 5am to 11:30pm!